Books
Lust, liberation and loss
Namita Gokhale’s ‘Paro: Dreams of Passion’ challenges the conventional portrayal of women as it delves into themes of femininity, desire, and societal norms.Rishika Dhakal
There are two well-known Paros in popular culture: one from the Bollywood classic ‘Devdas’ and the other from Namita Gokhale’s novel ‘Paro: Dreams of Passion’. The former Paro embodies the traditional image of a virtuous, devoted woman, while Gokhale's Paro is her complete opposite.
‘Paro: Dreams of Passion’ explores themes of contradiction, lust, femininity, alienation, and psychological turmoil. Set against the backdrop of India’s new constitution, which expanded women's rights, the novel delves into the cultural conflict between modernity and traditional values in Indian society.
Gokhale’s novel sparked controversy for its boldness and satirical take on Delhi’s upper-class society in the 1980s. She is credited with pioneering a genre of sexually frank literature.
Told from a second-person perspective, the novel features two main characters: Paro and Priya. Priya, the narrator, shares her reflections and observations of Paro, who defies societal expectations. Paro captivates men with her beauty, seducing every man she encounters in her pursuit of love. In contrast, Priya is observant, conforming, and self-aware but feels insecure around Paro. Her insecurity arises when her boss, BR—the love of her life—is married to the unapologetic Paro.
With this setting and adding a touch of Bollywood theatrics, Gokhale indulges her readers in the novel’s opening. The novel opens with Paro's ‘breezy’ entry into her husband’s BR's office, reminiscent of Sushmita Sen’s iconic red saree moment in ‘Main Hoon Na’. Gokhale's mastery of words makes the scene come alive, almost as if Bollywood music is playing in the background.
Priya is married to Suresh, a lawyer who embodies the so-called ‘modern husband’ of today's world. Although Suresh often speaks about principles and wisdom, his actions throughout the novel contradict his words. This leaves Priya questioning whether she is married to a modern man or someone who enjoys quoting the latest self-help books. Class struggle is another prominent theme in the novel. I couldn’t help but notice similarities between Suresh’s behaviour and Nepali society's tendency to sweet-talk others for personal gain.
For Suresh, friendships and relationships are tools for climbing the social ladder. He strategically befriends powerful individuals and reserves his expensive scotch for bureaucrats who can further his ambitions.
Paro’s husband, BR, shares similar traits. As the director of a well-known sewing machine company, BR’s personality is marked by contradictions. He is a womaniser, indulging in extramarital affairs.
The novel takes many twists, including the divorce between Paro and BR. In her pursuit of social status and happiness, Paro begins having affairs and frequently changes her husband. At this point, the novel highlights society's double standards—while BR's infidelity is tolerated both before and after marriage, Paro’s similar actions are deemed unacceptable.
As a reader, I struggled to understand Paro’s impulsive actions. Gokhale’s novel made me realise the tension between my beliefs as a feminist and the discomfort I feel when I encounter characters like Paro who try to break away from rigid social rules.
This inner conflict is a classic case of cognitive dissonance coined by psychologist Leon Festinger. Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort arising when a person holds conflicting beliefs or values. In this context, it’s closely linked to internalised patriarchy, where societal norms deeply influence an individual's thoughts and emotions, even when they consciously reject those norms.
Priya is also a victim of this condition. Despite Suresh’s abuse, Priya questions her marriage but maintains an outward appearance of being a virtuous, devoted wife, a Satya Savitri. Internally, however, Priya is liberated, full of life, and sexually charged. Her repressed desires eventually lead to an affair with DR, revealing the tension between societal expectations and her true self.
Eventually, Priya struggles to balance adhering to traditional values and embracing modern ideals. Believing that returning to Suresh will help her regain control over her life, she decides to return to him. This choice reflects her attempt to resolve her cognitive dissonance by aligning her beliefs with her actions and choosing the familiar path of tradition and family.
As for Paro, her story ends in tragedy. She is reduced to a state of social ruin and ultimately dies. Throughout the novel, Paro relentlessly tries to free herself from her middle-class existence, often going to extreme lengths in her quest for liberation.
This brings us to the theme of feminism, as discussed by Gokhale. She emphasises how social and cultural environments create significant barriers to women's emancipation. Paro, trapped in a male-dominated society, fights to overcome these obstacles and pursue freedom. However, this struggle blurs the line between morality and liberation, ultimately leading to her tragic death.
The notion that women’s emancipation often ends in tragedy is echoed in other works, such as Kate Chopin’s ‘The Awakening’, where the protagonist only attains true liberation through death. These literary tragedies reflect a harsh reality: society's rigid structures and resistance to granting women full rights and freedom make true liberation seem like an unattainable, utopian dream.
Gokhale deserves praise for highlighting the importance of personal autonomy and self-determination over seeking societal approval. She presents men and women as active participants in each other's lives rather than simply portraying them as victims.
By making Priya and Paro the central characters, Gokhale challenges the idea of the ‘ideal woman,’ offering a more realistic view of women’s liberation and acknowledging that personal freedom often comes with a price.
However, the novel’s excessive plot twists can be a drawback. Despite this, through her use of erotic language and depictions of intense sensuality, Gokhale masterfully explores themes of trauma, gender, and desire.
Paro: Dreams of Passion
Author: Namita Gokhale
Publisher: Chatto & Windus
Year: 1984