In recent times, social media has become a part of our identity. It is like an open diary, where the posts we create and share reveal a part of our personality, from which the viewers can sense an individual’s persona. Similarly, the functions of social media are expanding, which could compensate for limited face-to-face social interactions in everyday life. Social media bridges the barriers of time and distance, allowing individuals to update about their life situations and connect with virtual family, friends and colleagues.

The charm of social media is that it provides a platform to share feelings and experiences. Photos, thoughts, videos, blog posts, or vlogs allow a space where people, including strangers, can read/watch and relate to certain feelings. This also applies when someone is grieving or honouring the deceased, a healthy way to process grief. Even in cases of tragic global events, the emergence of hashtags such as #ThoughtsAndPrayers provides space for collective mourning.

Often, people fail to distinguish between grief and mourning, but there is a difference. According to the American Counseling Association, grief is an internal process that a person goes through when someone passes away, whereas mourning is what others witness. When grieving, the emotions expressed are important for the readjustment to the painful experience of loss. The process of losing someone to death is difficult as well as complicated. Certain social rules and rituals may limit support or assurance in times of grief, which could have lessened the pain of the loss. A study highlights that the importance of social media can be acknowledged, where the restrictions in real life can be overcome to find social support through acknowledgement of one’s grief, expression of difficult emotions and comforting words.

For example, someone may come across a post that a grieving person can relate to and feel less lonely. Similarly, social media can be used as a digital memory or a memorial site where the memory of the deceased can be preserved. Social media can allow space for grieving people to mention people they have lost openly. According to an article, the usage of social media provides a space to feel comfortable to express grief and maintain a bond with the deceased.

The public displays of grief online can be beneficial as they can challenge the taboos associated with death to allow people to express grief more honestly. A post or a tribute could also be a practical way to break a piece of sad news to family and friends who are staying abroad. Digital grieving can connect people to build a sense of community for support as they can find others experiencing the same pain. Moreover, a person can use many online support and digital resources to make oneself feel better and fill the void experienced as a result of losing someone. Digital grieving increased during the Covid-19 pandemic when people had little access to mental health support in person, diverting them to online social media.

However, there is a dark side to the digitalisation of grief. Some studies found that online grief can be viewed as ‘making someone’s death about you’. This highlights the behaviour of some people who are more interested in showing that they are mourning, instead of grieving. This behaviour is not based on an assumption, rather it has shreds of evidence across social media. There are records of people who share posts that could be perceived as traumatising, such as posting photos of dead bodies and graphic images as tribute. There are also videos where death is used as a source of amusement by making Tiktok videos and reels during the 13-day mourning period itself. There is a debate about what can be considered genuine grieving and what is not. Some perceive a tribute post, such as on the death anniversary, as a way to memorialise the deceased. But what about those who frequently post about the deceased ones, as if it is some kind of addiction?

In popular social media, there are times when we have encountered certain cases that are the epitome of digitalising grief. There are records of people who have become a ‘kind of online celebrity’ by grieving online through posting reels about a diagnosis of a terminal illness of a loved one, followed by treatment, death and cremation rituals.

At a certain point, the behaviour can be understood as a way to promote awareness about a disease and also as a way of fundraising for treatment. But it seems very difficult to understand the motive behind the continued posting of reels about grief. At one point, there is a constructive curiosity to respond to such posts. A question arises in the viewer’s mind: Is the digitalised grief aimed at online social support or trying too hard to prove that one is mourning?

When social media was invented, no one predicted its potential, regarding the expression of grief, especially among online celebrities. Generally, to judge the method of grief seems ethically wrong because it is all about subjective experiences. But when grief is expressed on social media, there are certain issues to reflect on. Some people might click the unfollow option to avoid seeing such posts. But does unfollowing them change the truth or instead make you more curious?

Lately, witnessing some constant reels about ‘how’ they are grieving after the loss of someone special raises some serious logical questions: Has social media become a medium to constantly seek validation of mourning, or has grief become a brand for celebrities? If the genuine motive behind digitalising grief is all about seeking online support, then doesn't using grief as content reinforce the grieving process rather than accepting the loss and attempting to move on? The emerging shift from private grieving to public mourning in social media seems to be expanding and needs to be evaluated both emotionally and critically.